Are You Serious
by Serenity Prime
Summary: In which a text disturbs Adrien, Nino comes up with a plan, and Plagg becomes an accomplice in crazy teenage shenanigans rate T for F bombs at some point
1. Chapter 1

**So guess who was scrolling on the miraculous tag and found inspiration while looking at miraculous-texts stuff.**

 **The scene takes place after a pic that I will link you to on my profile**

 **anyways this a four part series on why boys are weird.**

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 **Part 1**

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He had panicked when Nino sent that text.

 _ **Ladybug as Marinette?**_

The idea perplexed him but at the same time made horrible sense. He was nothing like his alter ego at first glance so it would make sense that she wasn't like ladybug at first glance either. He felt like panicking so naturally he called Nino. ( Because you only called your guy friends when it was _**serious**_ )

"Dude, I know I'm your best friend but what is so important that it warranted a call? I was about to pass that candy crush level I had been stuck on for days!" Nino whined.

"Nino, this is not the time to complain about candy crush!" Adrien hissed. "I'm panicking!"

"About what?" Nino asked sighing at his friend.

"What if Marinette is Ladybug? What do I do then?" He asked fidgeting.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing!"

"It is! Ladybug likes another guy! And Marinette probably hates me! I mean she can barely speak to me and she always looks like she's constipated when she talks to me."

"Are you freaking serious…?"

"Yes! Now you see my problem! If Marinette is ladybug then I have absolutely no chance and I'll wind up alone and single and never get to live my dream of being a stay at home dad!"

"Two things. One, you want to be a stay at home dad? Man your dad messed you up more than I thought, but I can respect that. Two, you're literally the biggest idiot I've met and you've got the highest scores in class. Are you aware that besides being meme trash you're also a walking oxymoron?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you serious? Like legitimately serious right now? Because if you are, I'm going to need you to get your freaky deaky kinky suited self to my house right now."

"I'm confused. Also my suit does not imply kinkiness!"

"You think Marinette hates you? And, bro, with all the leather, some people have their theories."

"Well that's the only explanation for her actions. Seriously?"

"Come to my house and we'll discuss this. And yes, seriously."

"I'll be there in fifteen."

"See you then."

"Ok."

Adrien sighed and looked to Plagg. "I'll get you two pounds of cheese if you transform me and keep hush on this whole matter." He said

"Make it two and half and you have my silence for a month." The black blob said with a grin.

"Fine." He sighed.

Nino had to admit it was pretty cool when Chat Noir appeared in his room. Knowing it was his best friend made it even more awesome.

"Glad you could make it bro." He said.

"I'm just glad no one was home." Adrien mumbled transforming back into himself. "Also this glutton is Plagg, hide all your cheese."

"Hey!" Plagg cried. "I eat a perfectly normal amount of cheese!"

"Sure." He said.

"So sit and we can review why you, the ever elusive Adrien Agreste, are in reality the biggest moron on the planet." Nino said

"This should be good." Plagg said nuzzling into a nearby pillow.

"Lay it on me I guess." Adrien said with a sigh taking a seat on the bed.

"Bro, Marinette has a freaking huge crush on you and she literally can't even around you." Nino said looking at him seriously.

"Be serious Nino." Adrien said with a frown.

"Adrien, Martians on Mars are watching us and they are all chanting "Marinette likes Adrien" because of how obvious it is. Bro, she's so sprung on you she can't manage a coherent sentence." Nino said exasperated at his friend

"Prove it and that she's ladybug." Adrien challenged crossing his arms.

"Use your horrible puns when talking to her. Call her My Lady and just watch her reactions. We can even get Plagg to confirm."

"Like that would work. I've tried bribing him with his favorite before."

"But have you tried withdrawal."

This caused both Adrien and Plagg to look at Nino.

"Plagg if you don't help us, we will make sure you never taste your sweet cheese again." Nino said with a grin.

"I'm with him on this one." Adrien said looking at the kwami.

"No more cheese…?" Plagg asked feeling his heart break into a million pieces. "I'll do anything, just don't take my cheese!"

"So what happens if I'm right?" Nino asked with a grin.

"Uhm, gloating rights?" He asked.

"You're not getting off that easily. If I'm right, you have to ask for her hand in marriage to her hulk of a dad."

"Nino! He'll kill me!"

"Exactly. This is punishment!"

"Fine if I'm right about her not being ladybug you're asking out Chloe."

"DUDE."

"If I must fear death so must you!"

"deal."

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 **please review~!**


	2. Chapter 2

**HAHAHAHa thank you guys for all the support! Holy shit I did not think this was gonna be as well liked as it was! Thank you! All that support made me want to write this and post it quickly!**

 **Anyways!**

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 **Part 2**

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Adrien was scared. He was very scared. He wanted to run around and scream and yell and anything that could possibly get all his anxiety out. He took a deep breath and entered the classroom. He was surprised to see Marinette sitting there with Alya. His heart stopped.

 _Oh god. OH GOD..._ he was going to die. Yep. He could feel it. With his luck, he would be wrong, dead wrong.

But would that be a bad thing?

He didn't know and frankly up until Nino proposed the bet he didn't want to know. Now he was trying to keep calm but it was hard when he was screaming internally. He was ADRIEN AGRESTE FOR FUCKS SAKE. Why was he getting nervous? He had always been able to talk with her in ease even when she didn't realize he was Chat Noir.

 _ **OH FUCK.**_

Ladybug would be pissed if Nino was right. Oh boy would she be pissed. He was panicking again. _**Oh god oh god oh god…**_ Adrien never considered himself particularly religious but now he was praying and begging to give any retributions for the sins that had put him in that situation.

"Hey man." Nino said slinging an arm over Adrien's neck. "Cat got your tongue."

"Is it too late for take-sies back-sies." Adrien asked.

"Way too late. Now, come my nerd! We ride!" Nino replied practically dragging him towards their desk.

"Hey guys!" Alya greeted.

"Hey, gorgeous!" Nino said with a wink.

"Ugh you and your flirting. " Alya said with scoff. "See Marinette, this is why we should just stay celibate forever."

"You love it, my love!" He sang.

"hehe…"

Adrien heard Marinette's quiet giggles. He took a deep breath and channeled his inner Chat and looked at her with the biggest chat-like smile he could muster.

"Good Morning, Marinette." He said.

"I… uh.. Hi?" She replied looking a bit nervous (she had that weird face that always made her look constipated in his opinion.)

"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me." He said.

He watched as her nervous smile slowly turned downward with disgust, her eyebrows furrowed, and she looked to Alya. He kept his confident grin while watching her expression change. He was a dead man walking. He could see his tombstone now.

" _Here Lies Adrien Agreste, a Farm boy who was a Meme loving Fuck and best bro for Life."_ Or something along those lines. Nino had several made just in case.

"Did you just make a pun?" She asked, her voice clearly filled with disgust.

"Maybe~! Oh it seems the teacher is here. I'll talk to you later, My lady." He said quickly turning around. He could hear the sharp intake of breath from behind. He screamed internally knowing that by the end of the week that he would be a dead man.

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The classes could not go quickly enough for Adrien. He could feel Marinette glaring at the back of his head and Chloe leering from the side. It took a lot of energy to make it seem like he wasn't on the verge of getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness.

"Now we will get into groups of four and you will have the rest of class to finish your worksheets." The teacher said. "I will decide your groups."

Adrien felt his pulse drop. He had Nino, Alya, and Marinette. He put on his façade and prepared himself to get the necessary information that could possibly mean his end. He could feel the smugness in both Plagg and Nino as they turned to their groups.

"Hey," He said putting on his most devious grin. "Math class is full of drama. There are so many problems to work out."

"That's cute…" Marinette drawled obvious put off by his words.

"You know my Lady, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they refer to as FINE print." He said watching her reaction.

She turned red. Incredibly red. He was pretty sure you needed to go to the hospital for how red she was.

"I..uujl… Math!" She squeaked. "Let's finish this…."

"Yeah, Adrien, you almost broke her." Alya said eyeing him suspiciously.

"What can I say? I put the "fun" in dysfunctional." He replied smiling wryly.

"Dude, math then your horrible jokes." Nino said shaking his head. "You need to chill."

"You love my puns." He said smiling at the boy.

"That's it. Now, besides kink shaming you, I have to start pun shaming you." Nino groaned.

"I do not have any kinks." Adrien huffed.

"That could be arguable." Alya muttered looking at Marinette who was still frazzled by Adrien's rather sudden flirtation.

"I'm not Kinky!" Adrien cried loudly.

"Aren't you four supposed to be doing math?" Their teacher asked eyeing them.

"Uh…"

"We'll be right on it." Nino said quickly turning to work.

* * *

Lunch was an easier thing to worry about.

"So Plagg, Can you confirm." Nino asked sitting in their hideout. (a hallway that was empty except for them of course.)

"Almost. We need to get really close… Like make yourself extremely uncomfortable with lots of tension where you pin each other up for a kiss close." Plagg said.

"I guess that Chat Noir should pay Marinette a visit." Nino said looking at Adrien who was just ready to die.

"Do I have too?" He asked.

"Do you want to know who she is or not?" The other asked in unison.

"Yeah… but I'm gonna die either way. Like if she's not ladybug, ladybug will find out I was snooping and send me to hell and if she is both her and her dead will make me into a chat-kabob." He said.

"Well then, it's time for operation Marichat!" Nino cried.

"What the hell did I, a beautiful and innocent child of the lord, do to deserve a horrible sinner like you as a friend?" Adrien groaned.

"I've seen your internet History. You are anything but a beautiful and innocent child of the lord." Nino replied.

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 **HAHAHA NEXT CHAPTER HAS MARICHAT BECAUSE I AM A SINNER AND I REALLY LIKE THEIR DYNAMIC WHEN HE'S SUSPICIOUS OF HER BEING LADYBUG**


	3. Chapter 3

**This was a bitch to write, sorry if it sucks, i had a massive writers block that I had to work through and also I was distracted by the excitement of My cousins who i haven't seen in three years visiting and sucking them into ladybug hell! Please enjoy loves~! I promise the last chapter will be hilarious.**

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 **part 3**

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Nino and Adrien sat in Nino's room.

"So what should I do when I see her?" Adrien asked.

"The puns and the "my lady" crap seemed to clam her up. Do more of that and you should be able to pin her to a wall." Nino replied laying back.

"I'm gonna have to apologize afterwards. She probably doesn't like guys getting that close to her." He said leaning forward and resting his chine on his hand. "I don't want her to think I'm a creep."

"With the leather cat suit…" Nino began.

"I'm considering tying you to pole Nino." Adrien said with a groan.

"Whatever floats your boat?" Nino said with a laugh. "What's the worst that could happen? Like if Marinette isn't ladybug that doesn't mean she's not a viable choice, she's pretty and smart and she really likes you. If she is then bro, you've hit the jackpot."

"Say she's not Ladybug, what do I say then?" he asked with a sigh. "Do I say, I like someone else because I accidently revealed myself to another girl and I may kind of want to date her?"

"You're being pessimistic. I'm gonna be right and then when you are Mari are married, I get to be your best man and godfather to all of your kids and you get to be the best man and me Alya's wedding and you and Mari will be the godparents for all of our kids and we'll live in the country side were you will be a great stay at home dad who tells amazing bedtime stories about superheroes and we'll all live happily ever after with our children falling in love and getting married."

"I have to be a pessimist! Did you forget that I am a physical representation of back luck or are you just being a butt?"

"I am not a butt! You just gotta believe man! Like that one American actor says! Just do it! Go on! Just do it!"

"I'm gonna do it!"

"Hell yeah!"

* * *

Okay… He regretted everything the moment he was staring at the trapdoor on the roof. He could do this, if he could body slam Nino whenever the John Cena Meme appeared he could totally annoy the shit out of Marinette and seduce her with his puns. Hopefully that would work out just fine.

Either way he was a dead man so YOLO.

He landed on Marinette's with ease grateful that his luck had not thwarted the grace he liked to pride himself on. He knocked on the trapdoor on the roof with part of him hoping that she wasn't there.

Oh how he hated his luck. Oh how he hated his fucking lack of luck, more like it.

"Chat Noir?" she asked.

"The one and only, puur-incess." He said giving a cheeky grin. "Mind letting a stray kitty in for a bit?"

"Uh…. Why?" She asked looking at him suspiciously.

"Media." He replied dryly eyeing his hand. "They didn't see me come here if that's what you're worried about."

"Ugh fine, but only for a bit. I have a friend coming over for a bit." She sighed letting him down into her room.

The two of them heard a snap which caused Chat to jump off the steps in terror which promptly caused him to land on top of a very red Marinette.

"hehe… I guess I really fell for you huh?" He said with a nervous grin.

"Off…" She growled.

He quickly scurried off her quickly and squeaked, "Sorry, I panicked."

"I noticed." She said before groaning.

"Bad day?" He asked

"Strange day." She muttered.

"Wanna tell this kitty about it? Cats are great listeners." He said with a grin.

"I guess…" She muttered looking down. "It's just this guy… I like him and I just thought I would stop liking him after seeing him today but instead I like his stupid pun making self more now!"

"You didn't know he made puns?" Chat asked trying to keep calm.

"Nope. Hell, we've only spoken a few times and today suddenly it was puns galore and he was calling me "my lady" and it was weird." She said lying back down.

"Why is that a bad thing?" He asked.

"Because…" She began before biting her lip.

"Because…?" Now he was becoming breathless.

"It reminded me of you…" she said quietly turning away from him.

Chat raised his eyebrows. Plagg didn't need to confirm shit for him. He just wanted to pretend the signs weren't there. But they were there and they were obvious. The voice, the way she acted, her eyes… they all screamed to him the secret.

He lied down next to her and put an arm around her and gently whispered, "Is that a bad thing?"

"No… I mean… I... I don't know…" she responded using one of her hands to cover her face.

"You know, my lady. I did on purpose." He said giving up the charade.

Marinette stiffened.

He let out a deep sigh.

"I know who you are and you know you can't deny that you piecing together who I am. I want to say so much to you but I can't if you won't look at me." He said slowly moving his lips to her neck. "Tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable. I'll let go, I'll stay away, I'll do everything to make you comfortable. Just tell me."

"De-transform…" she said. "I want to t-talk to you as a-Adrien."

He nodded and gave a silent command for Plagg to release the transformation. "Turn around." He begged.

Marinette moved her hand down and she slowly turned to see Adrien looking at her. Her breath stopped. She didn't know what to expect. A horrified and nervous Adrien was facing her.

"H-hi…" She said.

"H-hey." He replied trying to give her a smile.

"H-how did you find out?" She asked moving closer.

"Nino put it past me and I panicked." He replied wrapping his arm around her harder. "You have no idea how relieved I am right now."

"Why would you panic?" She asked looking up at him.

"I thought you hated me, both sides of me." He said. "You always deflected my flirting, and you could never say proper sentence me in school."

"Adrien…" She whispered. "I… I like you, and Chat, you're my best friend. I didn't know how to make it work."

"Can we try?" He asked. "I want to try."

"I would like to try…" He said looking at her. His eyes drifted to her mouth and he whispered, "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes…" She replied breathlessly.

He smiled and gently pressed his lips to hers. He was surprised at how soft her lips were. He tried to keep himself controlled but he wanted nothing more than to push forward and ravish her mouth. Their kiss came to an end before he gave in to that impulse.

"Again…" she whispered. He nodded this time kissing her more roughly, exploring her mouth and discovering anything that would keep her desperate for his mouth to stay on hers.

"Marinette I'm coming up!" They heard Alya call. Adrien quickly scrambled off her looking around for Plagg who had disappeared a while ago.

"Shit, shit, shit." He hissed.

Marinette looked at him and whispered, "I'll cover for you but you gotta leave now!"

"I'm going I just need to find my cheese head!" He whispered back.

"Um… Check in my closet and make no comment of anything else except the red polka dot thing." She whispered.

"Marinette! Why are you scrambling?" Alya asked. Marinette quickly shut her closet door.

"I was just cleaning! I started working on a project and I got sidetracked! So um let's go to the movies, yeah?" She said forcing a big smile.

"Okay, by the way… did you get that weird cologne that Adrien and Nino wear? It smells like it here." Alya commented eyeing her friend.

"Uh… yeah, It helps me fall asleep…" Marinette replied.

"AAaw girl, that is so cute!" Alya squealed. "We should get going if we want to get good seats!"

"We should, let me just make sure about some things." Marinette said. Alya shrugged and left back down to the kitchen.

Marinette walked to her closet and opened it only to see a very smug Adrien with a small black cat like thing and Tikki next to him.

"Say nothing…" She hissed.

"I'll be sure to comment next time, my love." He replied watching her turn red.

"I.. uuh. Go!" She squawked at him.

He grinned one more time before kissing her cheek and heading towards to her roof.

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 **I intended for more puns i'm sorry D:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you guys for all the support on this story! It really made me happy! I hope that you all enjoy the last chapter of this story!**

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 **part 4**

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Adrien was on cloud nine until he realized that only Nino knew the situation and therefore he had to publicly seduce Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Of course they had planned the scenarios which would make the whole charade believable enough.

But there was still one tiny problem.

Which was not so _**tiny**_.

Marinette's dad.

God that man was huge.

Adrien would rather face three Akumas and a horde of fangirls than go talk to the baker.

He made his way into class and smiled when he saw Marinette talking happily to Alya.

"Good Morning, ladies." He greeted sitting down.

"Please don't start today, you almost broke Marinette yesterday." Alya groaned.

"I didn't break anything. I was merely giving the lady a taste of who I am." He replied smiling.

"Don't start, today pretty boy." Marinette said with a frown. "We almost got in trouble because of you yesterday."

"I thought I was a handsome boy." He practically purred.

Marinette turned red and looked away. "I hate you…" She mumbled under her breath.

He grinned in satisfaction completely ignoring the angry look he knew Chloe was giving him. The plan was rather simple in his opinion. He realized his feelings and was now trying to force the girl to talk to him in his own unique and horrifying way.

"You love me." He said. "Just like I love you~!"

Then he heard everyone drop what they were doing. He looked from the corner of his eye and saw everyone staring at them.

"I.. uh…" She said turning red.

"So how about we go out on Sunday, Princess?" He said giving her his trademark grin.

"Okay…" She managed to say, trying to hold back a groan at the theatrics.

"Oh my god!"

"holy shit."

"Are you serious?"

Various reactions could be heard across the room and he smiled in relief. Marinette had not been happy about the plan, considering he texted her them at one in the morning, but they needed that out of the way so that they could go on as normally without drawing suspicion. Nino of course would act as the source confirming that he had been going to him for girl troubles and so on. It was perfect except for a very suspicious Alya… which he would gladly deal with later. He had to worry about Lunch.

* * *

Lunch had definitely wiped the smugness from earlier off his face. He and Nino walked to the Dupain-Cheng bakery and he could feel terror in each step.

"Oh dude, I'm gonna get this on video. Mari, needs some cheering up after having to deal that horrible half-assed yet somehow effective plan." Nino said.

"It just needed to keep people off our tails, especially Alya since she runs the LadyBlog." He said with a sigh. "it's not the worst impromptu plan I've had!"

"Dude… No comment." Nino replied.

"My plans are great!" Adrien huffed.

"We're here!" Nino announced.

Adrien stiffened. He looked at the door then at Nino who nodded to him. He took the handle of the door and slowly opened it. He walked into the store to see a short woman with the same blue hair as Marinette sitting at the counter with a rather larger man smiling happily chatting.

"Oh my!" The woman exclaimed when saw him. "Is it lunch at the school already?"

"Yes…" He replied taking a deep breath.

"You must be a friend of Marinette's!" The man said. "I'm Tom and this is Sabine! We're her parents. What can we call you, son?"

"I.,… uh… My name is Adrien Agreste." He replied.

Tom laughed and said, "Adrien Agreste? As in Gabriel Agreste's boy?"

"Yeah…." He replied.

"Oh my, after eleven years have you finally shown up to demand Marinette's hand in marriage again?"

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


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